DTR
what it means
The conversation situationships exist to avoid. "We need to DTR" is a request to replace ambiguity with an actual answer.
Define The Relationship — the conversation about what you actually are to each other.
the origin story
American college vocabulary from the 2000s, spreading widely through dating media in the 2010s.
It predates the app era but became more necessary in it, since undefined arrangements are now the default rather than the exception. The rise of "situationship" and "talking stage" made DTR the natural counterpart — a name for the conversation that ends them.
in the wild
I think we need to DTR.
That's fair. What do you want it to be?
Have you had the DTR?
We've been avoiding it for five months.
how to use it
- Naming the define-the-relationship conversation
- Dating conversations
- Talking about relationship ambiguity
- Professionally
- Where the abbreviation isn't known
- As pressure before someone is ready
related terms
receipts
Community feedback
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